And then 10 years later the United States annexed Texas and it became the 28th State, so why is #HappyTexasIndependenceDay trending on social media?
They aren’t independent anymore so why all the hullabaloo? It’s like fighting to move out of your parents house on your 18th birthday…only to move in with your aunt ten years later, but still throwing yourself a celebration every year for moving out of your parents’ house.
And if we wanna be really accurate, Texas wanted to become a state a lot sooner than the United States was ready to let them in. (Raise your hand if you think the US should’ve followed its first mind and allowed Texas to go right on being its own little backwards country.)
So really, you moved out of your parents’ house thinking your aunt would take you in, but she was like “nah, I’m busy” which forced you to scrape and survive for ten years until she finally took pity upon your raggily ass and let you sleep in the basement.
And then as soon as we let Texas become a state, Mexico declared war on us. (Was it really worth the trouble?)
So really, you moved out of your parents’ house to move in with your aunt who said no for ten years until finally relenting and then as soon as you moved in, her sister shows up at the door with brass knuckles and her Timbs on ready to scrap. But you’re still celebrating the fact that you moved out of your parents house 180 years ago.
Oh but wait, there’s more. Sixteen years after America finally decided to let Texas become a state, after we fought a war with Mexico and everything to keep their sorry asses, they seceded from the Union during the Civil War because they wanted to keep their slaves. And then the US fought that tacky little redneck Confederacy for four years because it was the right thing to do in order to keep The South from keeping Black people like animals.
So really, you moved out of your parents’ house to move in with your aunt who finally let your broke ass come in the house after 10 years of living on the streets, and then she gets into a 17-month brawl with her sister just to keep you to which you turn around and say “wait, I’m moving out again because you won’t let me own people,” so your aunt had to smack you around for four years to make you see the error of your ways. But you still wanna throw a party over the fact that you moved out of your momma’s house.
Come on, Texas. Find something better to do.
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