Mayor Pete is, without question and without any close competition, my absolute favorite Democratic politician to watch on the cable news cycle. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of Republican talking points alongside a willingness to take those points apart in very clear, plain, direct language. If ever there was a position available for Democratic Policy Educator or Official White House Teacher, he would be the only person in the running for the job. For the most part, I scroll past cable news clips, but if I see Mayor Pete, I go on ahead and settle in for another little mini lesson.
Given his gift of gab, I want Pete to play some sort of role in Kamala’s administration — something a bit sexier than transportation because everybody starts falling asleep when a politician talks about bridges — but not Vice President. Every other day, Harris-Buttigeig trends on Twitter because there are so many Leftists (who are Very Online) who seem to believe this is a viable strategy, and whenever I pose the question of a job for Pete on Twitter, the first answer is “Vice President.”
At the risk of being a Boring Old Wrong Man again (as I was so incredibly wrong about the possibility of Biden dropping out of the race) I would like explain to the good people of the Internet why there is clearly a much better genre of politician that will make a bigger dent in the electorate than a smooth-talking homosexual running a department that most people hate if they even pay enough attention to care about it at all. As an example, let’s look at what Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear was doing this weekend in Georgia.
CUMMING, GA.- United States Vice President Kamala Harris is expected to be in Atlanta on Tuesday. On Sunday one of the four men that are in the running to be named to the Harris presidential ticket as vice president, Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear, was in Cumming for a rally. Around him was a large crowd of Harris and Democratic Party supporters waving “Harris for President” signs and wearing green “Kamala is Brat” buttons.
Upon taking the microphone that was stationed on the bed of a pickup truck parked in front of the Democratic Party of Forsyth County office, Beshear, who was in one of Georgia’s traditional Republican counties to support Harris, told the crowd he was in familiar territory by being on the bed of a pickup at political rallies.
“We win by staying true to our values, by bringing everyone together, we win by caring and fighting for every single vote in every single county,” Beshear said. “Every single one of you matters.”
Cumming is a city in Forsyth County, part of the Atlanta metro area. The last time Forsyth County was called for a Democrat in a Presidential election was 44 years ago when Jimmy Carter managed to win that majority in his home state. Atlanta is known as Black Hollywood in some circles and the metro area is 32% Black, but Forsyth County is only four percent Black. Given this demographic and political makeup, could Mayor Pete have a rally here and talk about pickup trucks to a bunch of Conservative white poeple? Well…yes, I assume so. Indiana has pickup trucks and Conservatives so I’m sure he’s familiar, but the message will be received a lot better from a heterosexual man whose Christmas card photos look like a still from Village of the Damned.
Think back to 2020 when Uncle Joe picked Kamala as his running-mate. The general consensus was that Kamala would be able to pull voters that may have been less enthusiastic about voting for an old white man. There was a big chunk of the Democratic party who had never been forced to vote for a white man — they voted for Obama in 2008 & 2012, and they voted for Hillary in 2016. Voting for Joe was turning the clock backward a bit, so Kamala was there to ease the blow, to bring out the women and the brown folks and the alphabet mafia while Joe shored up Liberal White Man vote.
Fast forward to 2024 and Joe is out of the race, but Joe’s base hasn’t really abandoned the ticket. Polls show Kamala has managed to hold on to the base, while also bringing in a lot more excitement from those groups she was expected to reach out to anyway. So if Kamala already has The Not-Evangelical Patriarchy (and the women upholding it), liberal women, non-white people, and the queer community, where can she chip away and make inroads to grab more votes? The family values moderates who don’t really want to vote for Trump, because they know deep down that he’s an amoral huckster, but see no other choice.
And that’s where a boring Christian white man comes in to sway them over to the cause. Forsyth County was not in play for Joe Biden, because he had been painted as too liberal (and demonic) by Trump. It certainly wasn’t in play for Kamala, because a colored woman (with ambition!!!) is the last person they want to hear from. But it’s in play for Andy Beshear and the rest of Kamala’s short list of nominees. Mayor Pete doesn’t grab any votes that Kamala couldn’t get by herself, but the CHCC (Coalition of Heterosexual Christian Caucasians) can go up and down all those dirt roads reading from the Bible and having pancake breakfasts before Sunday Service.
The political landscape has changed so much since I’ve been alive, so I don’t doubt that we will actually have a gay man (possibly even Pete!) in the White House within the next few election cycles. For now though, they need to keep pimping him out to the cable news shows. And they need to make sure the spray tan lady is being paid well. This sparkle in his eye isn’t just intelligence — that’s the bronzer making em pop!
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