‘Weapons’ proves kids in movies *can* be useful.

I take back everything I said about child characters in any sort of action-heavy movie. After Jurassic Park, 28 Years Later, and Fantastic Four, I never wanted to see another child on my screen — they make stupid decisions, they make ADULTS make stupid decisions, and they get people killed.

But never mind. This movie would flop without the last act and you need the kids for that.

Weapons isn’t the horror movie I thought I was going to see. Most of it is a moviemaking exercise in flashbacks and simultaneous plots, but that’s a device I tend to enjoy in a film because I like seeing the different pathways by which various characters arrive at the same point. 

Moreso than Zack Cregger’s previous films, Weapons also succeeds or fails based on the strength of the performances, and the team showed up to work. Josh Brolin puts in another Gruff Josh Brolin performance, but Julia Garner — still in her Madonna biopic hairdo (is that movie ever getting made? is Julia still trying to be in it?) — is playing such an annoying, unlikable character that you still empathize with, which is a testament to her skill. But Amy Madigan is the one who comes in to steal the show. I don’t always go up for horror movies where the Area Eccentric is used as the Big Bad, especially in films like Longlegs with heavy transphobic undertones, but there is something to be said for the visual discomfort of seeing an incongruous character making an appearance and the sense of foreboding over what is obviously to come. Amy knew she needed to make us uncomfortable, and that’s just what she did.

I won’t say much about the Trumpian mob mentality of the town, personified in whole by Josh Brolin’s Angry Dad character, but you could dig around and make a case for Weapons presenting the idea that the masses don’t always have it right, and your neighborhood evildoer could be any type of person. I personally don’t think Zach was getting as deep as all that. Instead, I’m content with the idea that another comedian-turned-horror maestro just wanted to go bonkers. So that’s what he did.

Score: 4/5