If you’re reading this, then you must be part of my small Internet Bubble where our interests overlap, so we will likely agree here. But music is subjective, so if you want to argue…
Full Disclosure: I did not watch the Grammy’s last night. After they played in Beyonce’s face last year, that little award show lost any remaining iota of respect I still had for it (more on that later.) Anything worth seeing will make the rounds on social media, so I saw those things worth seeing and now I’m ready to talk about the awards because y’all had some very big feelings about them!
BEST
Jazz Performance: Samara Joy “Tight”
Samara Joy is the lastest Grammy darling after unexpectedly picking up the Best New Artist win last year. Now a 3-time winner, “Tight” packs more vocal technique in under two minutes than some others can fit onto an album (and still fall short). In general, I’m pretty against 2-minute song lengths, but “Tight” is one of those exceptions because you really need to put it on loop for a few times in order to catch everything she’s doing here.
WORST
Pop Dance Recording: Kylie Minogue “Padam, Padam”
Not to insult the G & Whey Circuit Gays, but this isn’t even the best song on Kylie’s last album, let alone the best Pop Dance Recording of the year. Kylie has such a deep discography, you can almost close your eyes, point at random, and land on a better song than “Padam, Padam.” I love to see a legend win, but they could have least nominated “Tension” instead if they were really looking for the best.
BEST
Rock Album: Paramore This Is Why
A few things to note that makes this win especially delicious.
- A rock band fronted by a woman has never won this award.
- Paramore hasn’t won a Grammy since 2014.
- It’s Black History Month and our light-skinned white woman of color Haley Braxton-Rowland-Williams deserves.
Of the nominees, Metallica was the closest to snatching this one. Queens of the Stone Age just doesn’t surprise me anymore, and even though the Foo Fighters put some outstanding moments on their last album (that funky little time signature on “But Here We Are” really hit my spirit!), those moments were too few and far between. Paramore released their best album, this far into their career, and it’s a no-skips affair. Get into it if you haven’t.
WORST
Comedy Album: Dave Chappelle What’s In A Name?
Fuck him forever. That’s what I have to say about that.
BEST
Engineered Album Non-Classical: Jaguar II
A soul album has not won this category since 2005 when the engineering team behind Genius Loves Company by Ray Charles took home the trophy. Even better? Victoria is one of the engineers on this album, make her one of the few women to take home a trophy here. And it is well deserved because Jaguar II sounds LUSH. It’s really the only word to describe how the music envelops you on every song.
WORST
Producer Non-Classical: Jack Antonoff
Jack sands the edges off of every production he works on so his win feels like it’s an add-on to Taylor Swift’s trophies. When the running joke is his songs being instantly recognizable because they’re so blunted, you shouldn’t be picked as the best producer of the year.
BEST
New Artist: Victoria Monet
Victoria Monet is not new to those of us who have been following her growth and progress for years. Please watch this very loving homage to Janet Jackson on “New Love” from 5 years ago.
The Recording Academy seems to change the requirements and eligibility for this category any time there is a big controversy.
Whitney Houston was deemed ineligible because she had worked with Teddy Pendergrass before her album. So, the rules changed.
Lady Gaga was deemed ineligible because “Just Dance” had been nominated for a Grammy the year before, even though she hadn’t released an album yet. So, the rules changed.
Right now, artists submit to be considered for the Best New Artist award, and the Academy can decide to nominate them or not based on whether they feel the artist has broken through to the mainstream. You can submit up to 3 times (so I’d be willing to bet Victoria has submitted before) and you can be considered as long as you have released five singles (or one album) and the screening committee decides that you hadn’t previously impacted the mainstream musical landscape.
In a category with Noah Kahan (my favorite album of the year), the War & Treaty (with the fantastic Tanya Blount that you might remember from “His Eye Is On the Sparrow” with Lauryn Hill in Sister Act II), and Coco Jones (the rare success story of child star to hard-working adult artist), Victoria was with some heavy competition, but the right choice was made. She has been skirting around superstardom for half a decade now — it was her time.
WORST
Album of the Year: Taylor Swift “Midnights”
You knew it was coming, so let’s get into it.
Pop Identity
I grew up as a Taylor Swift fan. I love country music and this was a cute girl with lots of blonde curls writing about the stuff I wanted to sing too. She had hooks and an ear for a melody. Somewhere along the line, she became a pop-star, which is totally fine, but I don’t know who she is. I don’t understand her musical identity. Everything seems so middle of the road. Even when it sounds good, does it leave an impression? Of her post-country albums, Midnight is the least interesting, but nothing sounds BAD necessarily. You can put it on and not have to skip any songs, but you can also put it on and forget that the album played at all.
Splitting the Vote
Janelle Monae and SZA were both nominated for Album of the Year. I know a lot of you were hoping for SZA (I was not — she puts me to sleep), but I knew with 100% certainty that she had zero chance because she and Janelle would be splitting that R&B vote.
R&B albums don’t win if there’s another R&B album nominated. Rap albums don’t win if there’s another Rap album nominated. As far as I can tell, this has only happened twice:
Outkast took home the trophy when Missy was nominated in 2004, and Ray Charles took home the trophy over both Usher and Alicia Keys in 2005 (where, honestly, they probably spit the R&B vote and Ray took the nostalgia portion).
Lauryn Hill won over 4 white women. The voting bloc consolidated.
Whitney won for The Bodyguard over 4 white men.
Natalie Cole won over 2 white men and 2 white women.
Last year, Renaissance was up against Lizzo and Mary J. Blige. I should have realized Beyonce had no chance, but I was hoping greatness would finally prevail.
Ubiquity of Whitness vs the Uppitiness of Blackness
You’d be surprised to know how many Grammy voters just assume Beyonce has already won Album of the Year. And some of them really don’t like to vote for her anymore.
(link)
Compare that to Taylor Swift, who has now won the award four times, and this interview from a Grammy voter.
(link)
We’re all picking up what I’m putting down, correct? The tacit requirement for Black women is to know your place. How dare you portray yourself as the greatest entertainer alive? We can’t reward ego and self-assuredness in Black women! We have to uplift white women who are so gracious to be bestowed such an honor that they know well enough to feign shock and prostrate themselves before the feet of the industry in exaggerated gratitude.
The Grammy Awards have no credibility and I don’t get why we’re still paying attention quite frankly.
Over the years, my interest in awards ceremonies continues to dwindle with the knowledge that voters are just people and there are no rules. You can vote without actually reviewing all of the art. You can vote based on who you like more. You can vote based on who has too few or too many awards. None of this lends Awards any status as an arbiter of quality or taste.
And, honestly, Beyonce was my tipping point. Anyone who knows me knows that Beyonce is not my number one favorite artist of all time, and I only started even marginally peeking into the windows of the Beyhive after self-titled. Renaissance however is definitely my favorite album, and I feel like I finally understand and appreciate Beyonce for the one-of-a-kind genius she is, in that she is the ultimate curator with the ability to bring a vision together like no one else in music (or maybe even entertainment). So when, Renaissance won three Grammys for three separate songs on the same album (with a fourth song nominated but losing) and the Album of the Year was given to Harry Styles, who won zero Grammys for any of those songs on his album, I turned off the show to never turn it on again. The math will never math on that and it doesn’t matter, because you cannot expect me to take your little awards show seriously when Taylor Swift was in a tie with Stevie Wonder, let alone breaking the tie with an album most people use as background music for chores.
Worst award ever.
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